Tuesday, April 17, 2012

going back in time

last night i spent five hours at the sorority house.

most of it was for meetings. but, the last hour and a half, well that was for me.

life has been stressful, to say the least, lately.

have you ever tried planning a wedding, changing jobs, moving to a new city, advising a sorority and having housing issues all at the same time?

oh, no? well try it sometime. you'll love it, i'm sure.

anyway, after a long meeting full of more stressful issues, some girls were sitting in the living room chatting away.

i only had intentions of walking through, saying goodbye and heading to the parking lot.

oh boy, did i get a whole lot more!

i won't go into detail about our conversations.

like talking about my wild sorority days. or how my roommate ran down woodland at 4 am one morning. or how we lived without a house mom for months and had margarita parties.

it's fun to swap stories and we all try to one up each other.

i've only been an advisor for one school year. and unfortunately i have to leave kappa omega.

life throws you some curve balls and this is certainly one of them.

i thought it would be easy to leave. having been there for such a short time, the fact that i'm at least four years older than them and all the things i have going on in my personal life, i thought would allow me to leave with no or very little strings attached.

oh boy, was i wrong.

it's hard to imagine being friends with women who are in such a different place than you. still in college. worrying about school and when they get to nap on a tuesday.

i worry about bills and marriage issues and all my friends are starting to have babies.

but...

it's nice to be told you're hilarious, that you're a great advisor and that you've helped so much.

it's even better when they take you into their little groups and let you hear their stories and secrets!

and they do wonderful things for my ego every time i walk into that house.

so, last night i spent an extra ninety minutes with my sisters.

ninety minutes not thinking about all my grown-up problems.

ninety minutes laughing uncontrollably.

ninety minutes making plans with sisters.

ninety minutes thinking to myself, "why do i have to leave? why now?"

ninety minutes going back in time, to when i lived at 368 rose street.

and ninety minutes thanking my lucky stars that i became an AOII and will be an AOII forever.






so to the ladies of kappa omega,

thank you for allowing me to be your standards and kor advisor this year. it's been a pleasure. and if i'm completely honest, i think i got more out of it than y'all did. you let me relive my college days (and most of my best memories). you allowed me into your circle, your sisterhood, your lives.

i've grown close to a handful of the girls in such a short time but i feel as if y'all are all my friends. i would seriously go tooth and nail for anyone in that chapter. even now, when life is going a million miles a minute, i refuse to just quit. i'm working on things for this chapter until i've reached a solution. i don't care if it takes 3 days, 3 months or 3 years. my heart and loyalty lie with kappa omega. always have, always will.

i feel like i can't go without saying something to some specific people...

to the other advisors, thanks for bringing me into your group. for allowing me to ask as many questions as i could and letting me vent about being an adult at our meetings! i can't say enough how awesome it is to have a group of women ages 25 to 60 who can call each other sisters and friends. so from the bottom of my heart, thank you!

to my KOR, kara, i'm sorry i wasn't there for you more often. i'm sorry standards took over my life and left you to do all the work yourself. if i can say anything, it's that i knew you could do it! i'm so proud that you care so much about the ritual and heart of this chapter. you're a bright woman with a positive attitude and you will always be an important part of why the chapter is so great!

to my standards committee, wow! what do i even say. i've been sitting in the house with y'all every sunday for the last 4 months. some of you were there last semester too (bless your hearts!). i can't begin to tell you how much i've loved after all our business is taken care of, we just sit and talk or complain or celebrate. i would do anything and everything for each of you. (i'm still seriously trying to talk T into paying for cooney to stay at UK!) you are all wonderful, caring, beautiful women. i'm going to miss each of you more than you know! (but i'll see you in september, right?!)

just remember to breath. try not to get overwhelmed and when you do, step back and take a break. think about how much you love AOII and when things are too much to handle, come to louisville and i'll pour you a glass of wine! yes, i can do that now because i won't be your advisor!

remember that things can change on a whim. what you're mad about today, goes away tomorrow. people are rude. people are nice. peoples attitudes depend on what's going on in their life. don't judge, you never know what someone's going through. smile, even if you don't want to. fake it till you make it. that one's important. act like you're the best chapter (well, because you are) even if other's don't think it because all that matters is how you see yourselves.

life moves quickly and you won't always be in college, living in a house full of your besties.

you can't go back. as much as i've wished i could sometimes, you can't.

i love you all and can't wait to see/hear about all the great things you'll do.

love,

ash

ps. don't worry, you'll see me for fall recruitment. i mean, how could i possibly stay away?

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