blogs, bad dreams and baseball bats

so i read a lot of blogs. like maybe 50 different blogs daily.

that's a lot. and i really don't even have time to read them all. i mostly scan them.

i can read pretty fast (thanks college) and some i just skip over completely if i'm not sucked in after the first sentence.

but i do have roughly 10 to 15 that i read everyday and never miss a post. seriously, it's out. of. control.

isn't is sad when you start having dreams about the blogs you're reading?

for example, a blogger i follow lost her dog about 2 months ago and they still haven't found him after months of searching, calling shelters and passing out fliers. so for the past two nights i've been having dreams about this dog and looking for him and actually finding him. it's weird. i mean, we've never even met in "real" life and i don't live in atlanta. so the probability of me finding the dog is pretty slim, i'd say.

speaking of dreams, i've been having some bad ones of late as well.

do you ever think to yourself, "man, i've got this life thing figured out. things are great and i couldn't be happier. i mean, job is awesome. dog is awesome. bf is awesome. fam is awesome. life is awesome. i'm awesome." then you wake up one morning and it's as if someone comes up to you and beats the crap out of you with a baseball bat.

seriously, that happened to me on saturday. i found out a girl i used to work with lost her boyfriend over the weekend. i am so sad for her and couldn't stop myself from crying (for about an hour) and last night i had a horrible nightmare about losing trav.

i know you could lose anyone at any moment. that's how life is. and i truly believe that God has a purpose for everything He does. we can't even begin to understand the plans He makes for our lives and the lives of those around us, but it doesn't make it any easier to lose someone. i'm so sad for my friend. i can't even imagine what she's going through and to be honest i don't want to imagine. i don't even want to think about it because if i do i get that baseball bat to the face feeling.

to be honest, i'd rather be beat with a baseball bat than lose anyone i love.