time to grow up

The only way to be the best woman God has made me is to grow up.

I’m 23 years old and I’m still not a grown up. I say I am and I try to act that way but there’s something I just haven’t been able to achieve to be totally grown up.

I’ve been this way since I was very little. I cannot admit that I am wrong. Being wrong has always had a negative and weak connotation in my mind. I’m not exactly sure where that came from but nonetheless here I am stuck being immature and so not grown up.

So, where is this going you may ask? Well I am finally admitting that I am/was wrong.

I’ve been living on edge for the past three months. Life is throwing me curve balls, one after the other. I have handled things with a smile on my face to most but for one person in particular, I have been down right awful.

I’ve been thinking about why people hurt the people they love most and this is what I’ve got.

People know that the people they love most will always be there. You see, we already forgiven them before the hateful words come out of their mouth. We refuse to let go of the happiness to let in the hurt and sadness.

Today, I underappreciated the one person who has been there the most for me in the last four years. Travis has seen me at my very worst and my very best. Through sorority craziness, friendships lost and found, divorce, graduation, awards, accomplishments, rejection, unemployment, death and much, much more, Travis has been there. Things haven’t always been easy, but then they aren’t always supposed to be. I have begun to take for granted the man that I love most in the world.

Travis is a gentle soul in the body of a strong beast! His love for others inspires me to be better. He strives to be better everyday. I have watched him grow in his faith and trust the Lord everyday for years now and I can only say that I admire is passion and zest. He isn’t perfect, but he doesn’t try to be. He knows his faults and only tries to be better. He has compassion for those who are less fortunate and has always lent a helping hand to anyone in need. His hard work and diligence will allow him to succeed beyond his wildest imagination. And above all else, his heart of gold is bigger than any man’s I’ve ever met. He is God’s gift of earthly love to me.

I apologize now and promise always to apologize when I am wrong.

I love you, Travis.